The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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