Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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