HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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