Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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