WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
