I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My ass is underappreciated
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
