would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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