just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
