Your mouth is God's brothel.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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