she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
