just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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