Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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