when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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