a queef is a wish your heart makes.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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