He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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