Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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