I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
