let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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