Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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