"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
