Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
