OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
