ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
