How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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