I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
