Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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