y did u give ur computer a hand job?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
