you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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