I feel great
I just peed on a car
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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