i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
