a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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