You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
