Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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