I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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