Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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