All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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