whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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