$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
