i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
