there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
