please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
