i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
