i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
