Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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