was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
