and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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