we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
