I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
