okay pat passed out under dana's car
i think i have herpe
just one?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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