the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my being single is dangerous.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
