I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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