I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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