White coat. Heels.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
