She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
