I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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