Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
