stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize