some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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