Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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