Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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