She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
