i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
