the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
