No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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