I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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