Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
