Kiss
Puke
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
