BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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