can u get pink eye on your cock?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
