I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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